（60）英语小幽默

1

Love's Philosophy

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion.
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle--
Why not I with thine?
See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister--flower would be forgiven
If it disdain'd its brother.
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea--
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

2 Relaxation:
If I Am a Manager

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition: If I Am a Manager. All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason. " I am waiting for my secretary," was the boy's answer.

3 Relaxation:
The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw

The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on "The most beautiful thing I ever saw." The student, who, of all the members of the class, seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishing speed. It was short and to the point. He had written: "The most beautiful thing I ever saw was too beautiful for words."

4
My Last Will
------Unknown
My will is easy to decide,
For there is nothing to divide,
My kin don't need to fuss and moan----
"Moss does not cling to rolling stone."
My body? --Oh-- If I could choose,
I would to ashes it reduce,
And let the merry breeze blow
My dust to where some flowers grow.
Perhaps some fading flower then
Would come to life and bloom again.
This is my last and final will,
Good luck to all of you.

5 

The Oldest Profession

There was a doctor, a civic engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discuss which was the oldest profession.

The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engingeer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engingeering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?"